a balancing act

i was in a mountain bike race this past weekend; a relay event where each team rides as many laps as possible in 24 hours (noon Sat to noon Sun). my team finished in 20-something'th place out of over 130 teams, so we were pretty happy about that.

but it got me to thinking about the nature of competition. i've been in these types of races before and i've finished lower, and i've finished in the top 3 (where i won a 'medal'!).

there's a satisfaction that comes with finishing in the top 3, winning a medal and getting called up onto the podium. but is it any less satisfying NOT winning a medal, and just knowing that i had fun and gave it a good effort, but finished in the middle of the pack? i guess my need for external validation has me wanting to finish in the top 3, for the brief, shallow recognition that comes with it. maybe i rationalize my middle-of-the-pack finishes by saying i'm not in it to win...

at some point though, the fun of biking starts to dissolve as the push for higher results increases. i never started biking to win races. when i start thinking too much about racing, i forget why i started riding in the first place.

however, there is a rush that comes with fighting for that bronze medal, or holding on to the silver in the last minutes of a race. even if the rush is short-lived, and forgotten the next day, it's a rush.

i guess it's all about balance...