holiday obligation

Today, on this first day of winter, the impending holiday season is on my mind. I'm getting tired just thinking about it all. Running to and fro. Idle platitudes "Hi, Merry Christmas", "Season's Greetings", "Happy Holidays". Just like the form letters I get at this time of year. Do I really need to know what kind of year your dog had, in the form of a typed letter addressed to "Dear Friends"?

Somewhere along the way, adulthood hit me like wrecking ball. It swept me up and now I'm desperately clinging to it as it swings back and forth endlessly.

I was just this morning, thinking of my best friend in grade 5. His name was Malcolm, and he died 4 years later from leukemia. I remember playing foosball up in his bedroom one afternoon after school in grade 5. We were listening to ELO. By the time he died, we had drifted apart. He was going through chemo and he wore bad wig. And he started hanging around with the smokers. I crossed paths with him once. We shouted insults at each other from a distance. I teased him about his wig. He teased me about some insecurity. I don't think I saw him again, because he didn't come to school very often. Then he died. I think my last words to him were insults about his wig. After he died, his family moved away. I never got a chance to thank him for being my best friend in grade 5 and 6. What did I know? I was just an insecure kid...
I feel a cold coming on; my feet are cold and there's a tickle in my throat.

Stay warm.