fall back down

i was thinking about fall. tonite, we switch our clocks back one hour, so we get an extra hour of sleep, in theory. i've been awakening around 7am for the past few months to write in my 'real' journal. it's been so dark out when i write. this extra hour will allow me to write in the daylight a little bit more, as our clocks fall back.

all this time lingers undefined

but i was also thinking about alternate definitions of the world 'fall'. fall down off my bike. fall in love. doesn't it seem like i'm afraid to fall? i ride my bike more cautiously than most, and as a result, slower than most. then, once in a while, i speed up. i've had my share of falls, but i still carry with me an inherent fear of falling. maybe it's a healthy fear, as it keeps me in line. or maybe it's preventing me from expanding my limits.

there's a bridge i ride over at some local trails. i didn't ride over it until this spring. everytime i came up to it, i chickened out and walked my bike over it. my goal at the beginning of this year was to ride over the bridge by the end of the year. on my first ride with the club back in the spring, i successfully made it over the bridge, and have ridden over it each time since. it's easy. it's wide - 3 feet wide. and it's 4 or 5 feet above ground (it would be a big fall were i to ride off the side of the bridge). but it's not very long. and it's easy. i still get a bit afraid when i ride over it. but it's a healthy fear. i see the bridge as a metaphor..

...for something.

i had a few good falls on my bike this year. one was when my front tire sank deep in soft mud. i wasn't going very fast, and when my bike stopped, i was flipped right over the handlebars. i landed softly in the mud, uninjured but covered in mud. i fell later that same day, trying to ride over a teeter-toter bike stunt. i rode up no problem, but when it flipped over, i wasn't balanced right, and it flipped me right over the handlebars again, onto a pile of soft pine needles. again, no injury. my final crash was in a race in september. i was racing down a hill, and my bike simply hit something i didn't see and I was going faaaaast. i did what we in the bike world call a 'superman', as i was tossed forward, off my bike, flying thru the air for a few feet. i got covered in dirt, and was a bit shaken, but otherwise unhurt. i finished the race, but couldn't get my rhythm back. i finished something like 13th out of 19 in my category. it was a tough race.

wait for the year to drown

spring forward, fall back down

i'm trying not to wonder where you are.