are you real?

summer's setting and while i love the fall, i'm always sad to see summer go. soon, kids will be back at school and my allergy to ragweed pollen will be in full swing. i've already had a few sneeze attacks. why do i sneeze in threes? (because it rhymes?)

this time of year also means peach season! i love peaches, i think they're my favourite fruit, but ask me again next june when strawberries are fresh.

i've been wondering how well we can know people. i've also been thinking that we're all just actors. some of us are acting all the time. pople put on a show when others are around, but what are they really like? i guess we'll never know. but i guess i'm seeking sincerity. the more you get to know someone, the more you can see how consistent they are, and there's no way of knowing until you've known them for a period of time (months? years?) . people you meet fall into two categories - people you who you like more the more you get to know them, or people you like less, the more you get to know them. i am reminded of this because i visited a friend yesterday and i met his family. they were polite, friendly to me. but i witnessed a couple little incidents that led me to believe that they were putting on a show, so i got to wondering what they're really like, and how well we really know people. and how we all put on a show when people come to visit. i like to think i'm sincere and consistent, and i am drawn to people who are the same. it's not all about show... it's about being real...

are you real? are you for real?

reflections

so i passed the milestone birthday, and i can say this much: it was pretty much like any birthday i've had. i've come to the conclusion that we become 'old' when we begin to look at the past more than we look to the future. so i'm looking ahead...

i have a mountain bike race this weekend - one of those crazy 24-hour relay races. There are 9 other really fast dudes on my team, so I'll probably only do 2 laps. still, it's a fun event. mountain biking is a funny sport. i love it, but i'm finding that most people at these events are male (probably 3/4 of them are), and most of them are between the ages 30 and 50. so i'm right in the middle of that. on my team for this race, i'll be among the older guys, but it will still be fun. i hope i don't slow the team down too much. send me your good weather hopes, and send me a guiding light for the racing i'll be doing in the middle of the night.

for my birthday, i got a few books, a lovely journal book, some music, some biking garb. stuff i need and want. one of the books is by rumi, whom i've wanted to read for quite some time. look for me to add some rumi quotes in this journal some time, just not tonight. i also visited the library on the weekend, and i picked up some cds there - some tom waits, rufus, otis and johnny. i'm listening to thom yorke's solo CD which i bought. it has a very radiohead sound, which isn't a surprise, considering he's the voice of radiohead.

my core strengthening class resumed tonight after a few weeks off. my instructor ran an ironman triathlon! nothing like swimming a few miles, riding a bike for over a hundred miles and THEN running a marathon in under 10 hours. these triathletes are sick folks i tell you...

keep smiling!

four decades

or two score, or 40 years...

so this friday, i hit the milestone birthday of 40. all along i've been thinking that it's no big deal, it's just another number. but i think i've been in denial. it doesn't seem like that long ago when i turned 30, but i don't recall much about being 20 or 10...

so yeah, i'm getting older, there's no arguing that. but we all are. turning 40 is just another reminder of this. 40 is the age i remember my dad being, not that long ago, it seems. he turns 70 this year.

at 40, am i supposed to have my career and job all figured out?
am i supposed to have a 'retirement plan'?
am i supposed to be mature?
am i supposed to stop being a kid?
am i supposed to be responsible?

if so, i'm still waiting...

i've read that 40 is the old age of youth, while 50 is the youth of old age.

but yeah, it's just a number...