seeking stability?

there comes a time in our lives when we seek a certain routineness. and while we complain about our jobs or our relationships, we feel a certain comfort in their familiarity. the early parts of our lives, we explore to find things we like and dislike. we succeed sometimes, we fail sometimes. but at some point, we seem to reach stasis. and we stop exploring. we don't experience the higher highs or the lower lows, and we sail away on an even keel. there's a certain satisfaction that comes with achieving this level of stability. knowing the pay cheque will arrive next Friday, rather than struggling to get the bills paid. things like that.

but it's as if we've become afraid to take chances, for our stable lifestyle has drawn us away from the need or desire to take risks.

i like what i've established, a suitable house over my head. a decent, if somewhat unfulfilling job. a family i love dearly.

but i want to make sure i don't get too comfortable. i want to keep going out to see live music, even if it's by myself. i want to get and stay in good shape for my mountain bike races. i want to learn to draw, and play the piano, and write something meaningful.

and perhaps most of all, i want to feel again.