fall back down

i was thinking about fall. tonite, we switch our clocks back one hour, so we get an extra hour of sleep, in theory. i've been awakening around 7am for the past few months to write in my 'real' journal. it's been so dark out when i write. this extra hour will allow me to write in the daylight a little bit more, as our clocks fall back.

all this time lingers undefined

but i was also thinking about alternate definitions of the world 'fall'. fall down off my bike. fall in love. doesn't it seem like i'm afraid to fall? i ride my bike more cautiously than most, and as a result, slower than most. then, once in a while, i speed up. i've had my share of falls, but i still carry with me an inherent fear of falling. maybe it's a healthy fear, as it keeps me in line. or maybe it's preventing me from expanding my limits.

there's a bridge i ride over at some local trails. i didn't ride over it until this spring. everytime i came up to it, i chickened out and walked my bike over it. my goal at the beginning of this year was to ride over the bridge by the end of the year. on my first ride with the club back in the spring, i successfully made it over the bridge, and have ridden over it each time since. it's easy. it's wide - 3 feet wide. and it's 4 or 5 feet above ground (it would be a big fall were i to ride off the side of the bridge). but it's not very long. and it's easy. i still get a bit afraid when i ride over it. but it's a healthy fear. i see the bridge as a metaphor..

...for something.

i had a few good falls on my bike this year. one was when my front tire sank deep in soft mud. i wasn't going very fast, and when my bike stopped, i was flipped right over the handlebars. i landed softly in the mud, uninjured but covered in mud. i fell later that same day, trying to ride over a teeter-toter bike stunt. i rode up no problem, but when it flipped over, i wasn't balanced right, and it flipped me right over the handlebars again, onto a pile of soft pine needles. again, no injury. my final crash was in a race in september. i was racing down a hill, and my bike simply hit something i didn't see and I was going faaaaast. i did what we in the bike world call a 'superman', as i was tossed forward, off my bike, flying thru the air for a few feet. i got covered in dirt, and was a bit shaken, but otherwise unhurt. i finished the race, but couldn't get my rhythm back. i finished something like 13th out of 19 in my category. it was a tough race.

wait for the year to drown

spring forward, fall back down

i'm trying not to wonder where you are.

i love a parade.

so the red sox won the world series. finally. i am reminded of the blue jays winning back-to-back world series back in 92 and 93. in 93, the night after they won, i had to drive to boston for a conference. that night, we walked into a bar. the bartender asked where we were from, and we said canada, home of the world champion toronto blue jays. he was unimpressed. now i understand why..... some team from canada wins the world series before his red sox do. anyway, i'm happy for boston fans. enjoy the parade. i never made it to the blue jays parade, but if the leafs should ever win the cup, i'm there! of course, they'll have to start a season first. i should declare myself eligible to play, in case they're looking for replacement players. look for me outside the ACC with a sign around my neck..... will play for food.

i have the new rheostatics cd on right now. i like it. i hope to get to go see them next week.

who is that man, and why is he laughing?

so different in our similarities

it looks like it's going to be one of those days of perpetual grey. it's beginning to feel like november.

how is it possible that we all start along the same path, but end up in such different places? having brothers allows me the possibility of seeing how i might have ended up, had things been different. we're all doing what is right for us, and our similarities are obvious. it is, however, our differences that make us unique. they're typical guys. socializing over scotch and beer, talking about the latest high-tech gadget they have, or their latest power tools. i'm unable to join these conversations, for they speak in a language that might as well be greek. their latest cd's include shania and avril, so i can't talk about that either, because mine are chris and kate, lowest of the low, and rheostatics. my one brother only reads magazines, so i can't talk about books. with him, our common ground is either the bike, or photography. i sure can't talk about the poetry or stories i've written, or the way kate fenner's voice melts me.

does it scare me when i realize how different i am from most people?

i'm thinking about watching the sunset with you.

O

rosy and grey

it's so dark now when i wake up, even at 730 in the morning. and while the weather in september was fanstatic, it's been cold and grey through october (note: when i start to talk about the weather, im really desperate for topics to write about).

I went to two live shows this week. they were at the same venue, two nights apart. the first was very intimate, like the musicians, chris and kate, were playing in my living room. i've spoken here about kate's voice. it's so captivating. it picks me up and settles me high above in the clouds. almost hypnotic. her voice is a true gift to anyone who hears it.

"i could just place myself between you and the earth, and let gravity have its way. but the pull of this planet just isn't enough"

the second show was anything but a living room show. it was a garage show, or basement. it was loud, with a driving beat and wailing guitars. i must be getting old(er), for i had the foresight to take earplugs to this show. my ears have already thanked me. the band was the lowest of the low, who recorded my favourite CD of all-time, "Shakespeare My Butt". they have a new studio album out, their first in 10 years. it's not bad, but it's no shakespeare. they put on a fabulous show, mixing their golden oldies with some new songs. I love their clever lyrics. it's foot tapping, sing-a-long tunes with a driving beat.

"i will hold this coin that reminds me of the time when you nearly kissed my blind on Bathurst street, it's true. and if you turn me down, i'll spin this coin around and i'll give it back to you. it's something i can't explain"

I almost didn't make it to this show, as it was getting late in the evening, and I was feeling tired and lazy. I'd talked myself out of it. then A little birdy reminded me that doing things by myself like this were very important for the soul. So I went. And I'm very glad I did.

So imagine that, 2 of my favourite musicians live, on the same week. Oh, and I must add, that i went to both shows alone. There was a time in m life when doing this sort of thing by myself would never have been a consideration.

enjoy your weekend

on my mind today

- the red sox pulled out a miracle and beat the yankees in 7, but the curse remains until they win the world series.
- i saw chris and kate the other night. a wonderful show. kate has such a presence on the stage. one can't help but be totally captivated by her voice. when she sings, her voice picks me up and carries me downstream.
- my neck is sore, at the back. i collided with a guy on my team yesterday at pick-up hockey. is there a massage therapist nearby?
- i might go to another concert tonight, as the lowest of the low is in town.
- rheostatics have a new cd out and i don't even have it yet. it came out 2 whole days ago. i should order it.
- i'm weeding out my cd collection, which is about 300. I've pulled out a couple dozen that I never listen to, and I'm going to try to sell them at a garage sale next spring. If you're interested in them, let me know, and I'll send a list!
- i found a new black pen that i'm using to write with in my journal.- there's no nhl hockey, but quite frankly, i'm not missing it.