dreaming with eyes wide open

we had a long weekend in may, just over a week ago. for the second year, we went camping to the NORTH! and for the second year, it was damn freezing! this year, there were rumours of snow in the early morning. thankfully, we took a little electric heater, and we had the foresight to book a campsite with electricity! we got a good night's sleep every night, while campers all around us packed up and left earlier in the weekend. the last night, monday night, most people were long gone. it was so quiet, and beautiful. i went for a walk that last night, on the beach by myself. it was a clear night and i sat on the sand and looked up at the sky. the longer i looked up at the clear, moonless sky, the more stars i saw; first just a handful, then dozens, hundreds, thousands...

when i look up at the sky like this, i am reminded of the size of the universe, the distance between stars, the age of the universe...

i could have lied there all night, dreaming, with eyes wide open.

but the chill penetrated to my skin. it came to me in a breeze, as if someone willed it towards me. maybe someone did.....

i took my flashlight and shined it straight up into the air, up to the sky, just in case someone was looking at me... they'd know where to look..... here i am!

sometimes, things seem so far way...
other times, that which is so far away can seem so close.

thank you

tagged!

I was just tagged by OrcaPhyll:

4 jobs i've had in my life:
1. a candy factory
2. a 'junior ranger' for a summer in northern ontario
3. a gold exploration company, also in northern ontario
4. a paperboy

4 movies i can watch over and over again:
1. eternal sunshine of the spotless mind
2. the matrix
3. ferris bueller's day off
4.

4 places i have lived
1. toronto
2. ottawa
3. in fear
4. student residence

4 TV shows i love to watch
1. lost
2. scrubs
3. hockey night in canada
4. the office

4 places i have been on vacation
1. costa rica
2. bahamas
3. western canada
4. eastern canada

4 websites i visit daily
1. cbc.ca
2. theweathernetwork.com
3. canadiancyclist.com
4. www.maplemusic.com

4 favourite foods
1. pizza (homemade)
2. apples, apple sauce, apple pie, apple crisp, apple juice
3. blue corn chips and guacamole
4. seafood!
5. sushi

4 people i'll tag
1. artsymamasita
2. kelerifica
3. cascade kayaker
4. flower alice

i coulda been...

yeah, sometimes we get bogged down with all of these responsibilities... like work, kids... and it's so easy to forget about ourselves. i had a few long days this week, for work. a big chunk of the time was commuting. for 3 days straight i spent 4 hours in the car each day, stuck in traffic. it was unavoidable. i usually enjoy short trips in the car, for i can be alone with my thoughts and my tunes. but in traffic... well, i started to think about all the cool things i could be doing, instead of sitting in traffic...

- i could be writing in my journal
- i could be playing my guitar
- i could be playing 'go fish' with my kid
- i could be drawing upon one of my sources of inspiration
- i could be going for a walk in the woods
- i could be riding my bike
- i could be drawing
- i could be interacting with like-minded souls
- i could be lying on the grass staring up at the clouds
- i could be blogging
- i could be taking photographs
- i could be writing a poem, or a song
- i could be kissing
- i could be reminiscing
- i could be writing a letter
- i could be sleeping
- i could be waking up
- i could be making love
- i could be reading
- etc. etc. etc.

you get the message...

i've been thinking about inspiration, passion and courage. what makes the great people great? they have the courage to do things, and to make mistakes. that courage comes from a passion for what they do. i'm seeking that courage. i'm seeking the passion. and i'm finding inspiration all over the place. in the sky, the trees, the flowers. in people i meet. in places i go. inspiration is all over. thank you.... the only place i don't feel inspiration is work.... but that's for a different day.

final thoughts...

- what's up with the others?
- i'm going camping tomorrow for the long weekend... send your warm, dry weather thoughts up this way, please!
- is it wrong that sometimes, all i feel like doing is lying down in my bed with my journal and writing mindless words that no one may ever read?
- i'm wondering if you will read this entry...

an audience of one

have you ever had one of those moments when you are all alone, and you see something that truly fascinates you... and you know that you're the only person in the world who saw that event? it's as if that single event was performed just for you. well maybe this has happened to you and you've never noticed, or never cared, or never appreciated it before. i went for a little walk by myself on a weekend away this past weekend. I walked up the river and came to a spot where no one else could possibly be. And then i saw them.... the rainbow trout... jumping upstream to spawn, i suppose. yeah, i know they were doing what they do every year, and they would be doing it even if i wasn't watching... but part of me wants to believe they were putting on a show for me, their audience of one. it's kind of a selfish way of looking at the world...

as i walked through the trees, i tried to walk so softly so as not to disturb the birds and the other small animals that were scurrying around. i saw the bluejays hopping from tree to tree high above me, shrieking warnings to each other about the intruder. and i thought 'i shouldn't disturb nature'. but then i thought... why can't i be a part of nature, rather than a disturbance to it? when did we go from being a part of nature to being a disturbance to it?

the old once-ler still lives there... ask him... he knows.