let's just cool it.

I went public skating this afternoon with my little one. Afterwards, we watched a competitive hockey game on another rink. The kids were maybe 9 or 10 years old. It's fun to watch their intensity. Mostly boys, but I saw a couple of girls playing, that was fun (I assume they were girls... I suppose they could have been long-haired boys...). Anyway, my point here is that I loved watching this game. But then as I watched more, I saw hockey parents. One father pounding on the glass when he thought the referee missed a call. One mother screaming at her kid to 'GET THAT GUY!" ANd I thought about all that these kids have to deal with. It's one thing to love and play a game like hockey. But I have to figure that living up to the expectations of overzealous parents is the real hard part. Don't you think growing up is hard enough, without all this added pressure?

Let's get some perspective here...... they're just kids....

i'm weaker than you can possibly imagine

do you ever look up at the same moon when i do?
do we ever settle under the same cloud?
do we ever feel the same wind brushing against our cheeks?
what connects us now, so many years later?
a fading memory?
maybe nothing more than that.
as time drives us farther apart.

failure

is a failure in the eyes of society a real failure? maybe we fail for a reason; maybe we fail because we're not meant to be doing something.

ok, so i made a mistake.

like going back home

last night i went out by myself to a show in town: Rheostatics. i got there just as the opening band was winding down their set. the place wasn't overly crowded, but it was far from empty. i chatted up the girl at the door, and she gave me an announcement poster after i asked. then i wandered around, waiting for the rheos to come out. over in a corner i saw someone i knew so i went over to talk with him. i'd seen him before at other rheos shows in town. he was there with his girlfriend, and they asked if i wanted to sit with them, and i agreed.

the rheos came out just after 11pm and opened with some recent tunes. the crowd was really into it. i sat back and enjoyed the show, and i thought about how comforting it is to see this band play live. there's a familiarity in their shows that feels like going back home.

rheos fans are a unique bunch. although we are not many in number, we are faithful to the core. it's difficult to convince non-rheos fans about the greatness of this band, and it's even futile to do so. you either get it, or you don't. it's almost like there's an inherent rheostatics gene in our dna.

at one point in the concert, martin's guitar went dead. he got down on his knees and tried to fix his pedal, to no avail. then he angrily took off his guitar and stormed off stage in the middle of a song. having cooled down, he came back a minute later, picked up another guitar and finished the song with the band. this happened again during the second encore. he seems on the edge. i sense that he's in such a creative zone on stage that when problems arise, he's incapable of dealing with it. it's such a focussed intensity that we're all lucky to be able to experience when we see him perform.

a highlight was during one encore when they played a song that they called "the wreck of the edmund fitz-body count", which, translated, means, the lyrics to record body count to the music of the wreck of the edmund fitzgerald. they later played the 'real' version of body count. they played most of the songs from their new album, and tossed in a few fan favourites as well.

it's always such a treat to see these guys. the crowd is always really into it, and the boys are obviously loving their time on stage.

Ill be adding a song by them to my life soundtrack. I'm leaning towards one or two, and there's a good chance I'll add the live version from their "Double Live" cd. it's that CD that opened my ears to the world of rheostatics.

i just want to be home again...

Music evolution

i've rekindled my interest in compiling songs for my Life Soundtrack; a project i started a year ago. as of today, i'm now up to seven songs, and i've got them on the speakers right now. the order is as follows:

Nowhere Man - Beatles

America - Simon and Garfunkel

Out on the Weekend - Neil Young

Self Serve Gas Station - Rheostatics

Here Comes a Regular - The Replacements

Subversives - Lowest of the Low

Nautical Disaster - The Tragically Hip

i really like the flow of these songs, and the soundtrack is really coming together. i might include the live versions of America and Gas Station, for it is these versions i'm more familiar with. total running time, about 28 minutes.

I was thinking about how music comes to define our lives. each of us can probably pick a handful of moments or periods in our life when our music tastes evolved or became defined. a highschool dance, summer camp, a boyfriend or girlfriend, the long commute to and from a job, drinking buddies....

for me, three such times defined my tastes (at least three, off the top of my head). the first was when i was about 10. one saturday afternoon, my mom and dad came home after shopping. they brought with them 3 double albums - the Red and Blue albums by the Beatles, and the Beach Boys' Endless Summer. I listened to those red and blue albums constantly. the second event was when my younger brother, for Christmas, bought my older brother the triple Neil Young CD Decade. I think I listened to the album more than he did. it introduced me to a world of neil, and led me to csny, buffalo springfield and others from those eras. the third was a two-and-a-half month period i spend in pickle lake, ontario, in the late 1980s (look it up on a map!). it's about as far north as roads went in ontario back then. i worked for a gold-exploration company. i befriended a couple of guys who introduced me to some musicians i'd never heard of.. the replacements, robyn hitchcock, green on red, the new york dolls.... i still have the mixed tape from that winter. the impact of this period is obvious, with the replacements making it to my soundtrack. i also just found a green on red cd on ebay and ordered it this morning. one of their songs might make the final cut too.

within the next week, i should have 2 or 3 more songs to add.

stay tuned....

rainy rheos day

i just came back inside the house, having dropped my kid off at school after lunch. and may i say this - it's raining out. but more than that, it's damn cold out and my fingers are still numb. it feels too cold to be raining. it should be sleet or snow or freezing rain. my typing is slow and clunky, but you probably can't tell...

so tonight i'm going to see the Rheostatics. i bought my ticket a couple of days ago. i couldn't find anyone to go with, so once again, i'm going it alone. hopefully, by that time, my fingers will have warmed up.

if you've been reading me in the past, you'll know about this life soundtrack i've been compiling. my apathetic tendencies have resulted in only 3 songs to date, but this week, i will officially add two more. one will be the song 'america' by simon and garfunkel. you may note a sense of irony at choosing a song called 'america', given my current taste for canadian music. however, this song describes a feeling that is universal.

let us be lovers we'll marry our fortunes together

i've got some real estate here in my bag

so we bought a pack of cigarettes and mrs. wagner pies

and walked off to look for america

...

laughing on the bus playing games with the faces

she said the man in the gaberdine suit was a spy

i said be careful his bow-tie is really a camera..

the song captures an innocence, and wonderment. a young couple searches for themselves, while getting lost in each other.

the other song i have added is by the tragically hip, the quintessential canadian rock band. they have many songs that define them as a band, but i've chosen a song called 'nautical disaster'. downie sings of a dream he had where he was in a war. then, in a lifeboat, he describes the scene...

one afternoon four thousand men died in the water here

and five hundred more were thrashing madly as parasites might in your blood

now i was in a lifeboat designed for ten and ten only

anything that systematic would get you hated

it's not a deal nor a test nor a love of something fated.

the selection was quick. the crew was picked in order

and those left in the water got kicked off our pant legs as we headed for home.

i once heard a live version of their hit New Orleans is Sinking. anyone who has seen these guys live knows that downie rambles endlessly, telling stories in the middle of songs. in this live song, they played a long instrumental in the middle, and downie started to sing nautical disaster. so it's kinda like the little sister to NOIS. it's a song that starts slowly and builds in intensity as the story gets more grim. then the dream ends...

so there you have it, i'm now up to 5 songs.

and all this typing has warmed my fingers...

do you have a plan?

everybody seems to have a plan. they're working hard so they can afford a bigger house or a new car, or they're hoping for a promotion at work.

i don't have a plan. i don't want a bigger house. i don't want a promotion. i'm certainly not working hard.

so what does this all mean? is there something wrong with me because i am satisfied with the status quo? or is there something wrong with everyone else, because they're never satisfied?
oh, so many questions...

and my thumb is sore...

and i've been thinking about songs to add to my life soundtrack. this is a topic i started in year about a year ago. i'm up to 3 songs, but i put some thought into it on the weekend. on the recommendation of A friend, i bought the soundtrack to a movie, garden state. there's a simon and garfunkel song on this cd, and it reminded me of how much i used to listen to them back when i was a teenager. so i've decided to include one of their songs. i'm not entirely sure which one yet.

i also have a short list of songs by the tragically hip, so there's another. hopefully soon, i'll be up to 5 songs. this list is taking longer than i thought. a testament to my apathy.

so yesterday was halloween. did you dress up? i had a hockey game after trick or treating. i dressed as a defenceman (i'm usually a forward!).

rheostatics are coming to town this week. i hope to go to the show.

oh, i finished writing topics for a new journal project. i'm calling it the journey journal. with some of your suggestions, i wrote a topic at the top of each page in a blank journal. now, when i'm in the mood, i'll flip to a random page, and fill in that page with what ever comes to mind with regards to the topic. thanks. i thought this might be a great way to find out more about each other. 2 people could create a journal as I have, then exchange them. once filled, they could return them to each other.

later elevators...

O